Monday, March 17, 2014

Mothering is a tough journey

An open letter to the Mom's in all of us:
The other day I commented on an article you'd been reading. The article gave you comfort in your parenting struggles and I commented on the facts of the article. I am sorry! 
I am sorry for hurt you feel to the Mom's who wanted to breasted but found challenges they could not overcome in any way for any reason. I am sorry for the judgement you feel to those who chose not to breastfeed for whatever reasons best for your family. I am sorry for confusion and sadness to those who got misinformation along the way in your breastfeeding journey. I am sorry for the negativity to those who chose tandem nursed or breastfed into toddler hood. I am sorry for not hearing you when you were crying out that you felt less than, or criticized in any way.
It's been a long time since I breastfed my fourth and last baby. My breastfeeding relationships were not without challenges, but were ultimately long and successful relationships. I am thankful. At the time I was active in supporting other Mom's in their breastfeeding challenges. It's easy to lose site of the emotion and focus only on the facts when reading an article. The emotion is what's real to anyone "in the heart of it" and I stepped away and forgot that for a moment. 
What I should have said to you was "there are so many challenges along the road of mothering, we all have to accept we do the best we can with what we have". What I want you to know is that we've all felt judged by each-other and I am sorry if I have contributed to that in any way...along the way of mothering. Your feelings and struggles are valid.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

How time flies

Four years ago I was just starting what would be a very long and painful journey. We lost you four years ago today, Mom.How has it already been so long?
I sat and really thought about those last moments on the way home last night. I mostly think of you and smile these days but I miss you and the time we could still be having if cancer hadn't stolen you away. I miss how much you would have loved the boys shenanigans. Gavin is a daily joy and gives us cause to giggle so often. It would have been so fun for you.
James is still the kindest hearted boy and just as you said "classic". Michael and Andrew had so much time with you and I often think of them with you at the ages Gavin and James are. They have the best memories!
We've moved forward but not a day goes by that I do not feel you. I know you were ok the minute you closed your eyes that early morning. I am ok now, but wish you were still here. We loved you into the next life just as you loved us into this one!