When Gavin does things that are not allowed we tell him he's making a bad choice. We also give him choices for behavior to help direct him.
The other day I told him he had two choices, sit at the table and eat or go to his room(he had been asked to eat some dinner many times prior to these choices).
"Mommy, you have two choices. Be nice to me, don't yell at me, don't tell me to eat my dinner,be nice to me"
Glad it's sinking in.