I find that I can talk to Mom very openly when I sit at this keyboard. I do not hold back. Unspoken words,tears and emotions flow as freely as if she were sitting right here. Perhaps even freer because often I am very careful about my outpourings~it is easier for me to feel anger than sadness most times.
I talk to her in keystrokes and sometimes in the middle I will mutter, in half sobbing words, "oh, Mom". I feel that she is close and can hear me, but I cannot hear her no matter how closely I listen. The silence is what gets me every time.