So much...

So much is happening without Mom. Lately life is really hard and I find myself crying in the car(or in the rare case I come her to write). I just really need to talk to her. I have started just speaking to her as I drive, sometimes ending in tears sometimes starting that way.
It still feels too unbearable so much of the itme and there are such important things happening that need her attention.
Tomorrow is my brothers birthday. I know he needs her very much right now and this makes me think more about how things would be different if only you hadn't died. Why cancer, why so young?
I see Mom's and daughters all day and I wish!