Where did it come from

James likes to ask "Wher'd it come from" about everything lately. It's really sweet that he is so inquisitive and in that "learn about the world" phase. I have to say it's hard to come up with answers sometimes. "Where'd the car come from, Mommy", Where'd the cheese come from?" "Where did the house come from?", Where did my shirt come from", Where did Heidi come from?"(our dog). These are just a few of today's questions.
I walked into the living room on Sunday and James was playing with a new toy school bus we got at the grocery store. He was driving it around and said "Look Mommy, my bus is driving in the water. " I said "Where'd that water come from, James? " He looked up and smiled at me and said "My penis!" I had to giggle.
Boys are amazing beings! What a fun age.

Weekend at my parents

We went to my Dad's house in DeLeon Sunday, Monday and came home this afternoon. It was really nice. It's fun to be out in the middle of nowhere and have little or nothing to do.
watching James and Gavin play together now is so neat. They are so close in age that they will have similar interests. They have started to talk to eachother and play. Gavin is really moving around now and wants to be everywhere that James(or Andrew for that matter) is. Andrew is so sweet to both of them, but has a really special bond with Gavin. Michael was always a little closer to James. They are all such sweet boys.
I got some great photo's this weekend. I actually feel proud of some of the ones I took of James and Gavin and Andrew just looks really cute.
I'm missing Michael. He is so far away and has no desire to be with us right now. I know he'll come home eventually, but I really miss being his "Mom" full time.
Here are a couple shots from our trip.

:( Feeling blue

I'm feeling the one's creeping up. I can't believe my itty bitty baby boy is almost one. It's touching me a little deeper than I expected. With Michael graduating and Gavin turning one~the baby years are fading. I am even more in touch because Michael was my baby...and now he's all grown up. Where did the time go.
Childbirth, babies and breastfeeding have been so special to me. Magical moments in my life. I'm sad to see them go. It's so black and white now that Jim's had the Vas. No more babies:(
Here are a few pics of last year's miraculous moment in our lifetime:

Whew`

What a month we've been having!
This is a busy month with Michael's graduation, Gavin's first birthday, and Michael's birthday. We definately didn't need any unexpected crisis'~but as usual, we got one!
Jim was running errands last Monday and at a stoplight. A car plowed~never applied brakes while going 50~into him. He is okay, but car accidents cause havoc in regular day to day lives. Our car is repairable, but has almost 9000 in damage. It will be out next week. IT's just so hard to fit everything in when working and caring for a family.
I'm so thankful that Jim is okay and that noone else was in the car. Life is so fleeting and this could have been so bad. The other driver did not fare as well.
Moving on to Birthday's!

I created a Slide Show! Check it out!

And we're off...

In so many ways! We are about to drive nine hours to Marfa, Texas. Michael is graduating and since he decided to skip town and finish high school in BFE~we're going all the way across Texas to watch him walk the stage. I can't believe he's graduating from High School.
We're embarking on a whole new chapter~College! Michael has been accepted toTexas Tech, is on the waiting list at A&M and will hopefully get an acceptance from UNT shortly. He's in a funk because he really doesn't want to graduate and I'm right there with him. It's so hard to think of him out on his own.
We're taking our first LOOOONNG car drive with a two and a half year old and an 11 month old. This will be a wild weekend! We are leaving in the middle of the night, so pray for sleeping babies. The ride home will be during the day, how many songs can I sing before I lose my mind...

So much to clean

My house is overflowing with toys, clutter, and piles of laundry. I can't seem to put Gavin down long enough to clean.
I was trying to change clothes last night~sans baby~for the third night in a row. Crazy to think I will be able to get undressed without a baby in my arms. He certainly doesn't believe in it. Crying and reaching arms are immediate when I put him down. I try to rip off my clothes as quickly as possible, but not a second is acceptable to him.
Gavin is 11 months old and very needy right now. I am also very aware that this is the last baby I will have. He needs me and so I have a dirty house and piles of laundry...but only for a few more years. I think it's a fair trade to be needed:) If only I can keep from looking at the mess~lol!

This photo is by Alyson Camacho. I think it is the most amazing picture of Gavin and I. It shows our connection in a way I could only feel~it moved me to tears.

Well intended...

So I was working with a customer at my store and she told me she just found out she's having a boy and there are no cute clothes for boys. I said, "Girls clothes are cuter, I have 4 boys."
Awwe...sorrow in her tone. Why is it that people feel sorry for me. I am so tired of it. I get those kind of well meaning sighs, comments, looks ALL the time!
I am okay~absolutely okay. Any feelings of loss that I had or may have are only going to be exacerbated by those types of comments. We are a girl happy country. Get over it!

I'm fine!

I guess I am now defined by being a Mom of four boys. It seems as unlikely to me as you reading this...but apparently is very possible.
I did have some sadness when I found out each of my last 3 were boys~but not about them being boys. It's really much deeper. It's the loss of what will not be...
I will miss frilly dresses and prom's and weddings. I will not watch a daughters belly grow with a baby that's part of me. I will miss things I have dreamed of with a daughter.
But, I'm fine! I have so much more. I have beautiful, healthy, fun and sweet boys. Boys are so sweet to their Mommies. I think there is a special "club" we Mom's of boys belong to.
I'll write about thoughts on being a Mom of boys, memories of things that struck me when I was pregnant with these boys, and things I think those who don't have boys should know. I hope this will find some interest, but mostly I hope to get some things out of my head and onto "paper"