A thousand times must be the minimum of the times I've thought of my Mother since her passing almost 4 weeks ago. I'll be standing at the fridge or by the sink or folding clothes or hugging the kids. I was dancing with Gavin last week and just lost it.
Today I've pictured her standing in her backyard with hose in hand, spraying her plants. She has a sleevless blouse and shorts on and she looks at me as I walk out her back door. I must have seen my Mom like this hundreds of times in my adult life. It is a vivid image and yet so far away now.
I dreamed of her twice this week but lost the image when I woke up. I've tried all day to get it back, but it isn't here. I know she was there, though.
Life is getting more normal(if you can call life after you lose your Mom "normal"). When these images pop into my mind it stirs me and makes me wish and sometimes I cry for her. But, now, I know I will be ok...someday.