About this time two weeks ago, my brother and I were wrapping up a day long visit with our mother. (Has it really almost been two weeks?? I originally wrote "a week ago" and then had to really think...) We had no idea that we would be called back shortly thereafter for the hardest 28 hours to be imagined.
Grief comes in waves, some easier to ride than others but none without intense emotion. I have learned it is impossible to imagine how emptiness can fill your body when your mother dies and how unbearable and unplannable the weeks after are.
This morning I was searching online for how long people take off when their mother dies. As I have mentioned before, I am a planner and I like things in order. There were no "answers", but lots of reading about grief and loss. There are steps to grieving but there is no "timeline" so I wait, questioning myself along the way.