My Mom

My Mother has a bowel obstruction from scar tissue that formed around clips from her ovarian cancer surgery(and/ or possibly a reocuurance of ovarian cancer). She has been batttling ovarian cancer since 2004. Her Dr. in Austin has been treating her for another recurrance and has stated several times that the surgery will do nothing but treat the symptoms so she must have chemo before surgery. The symptoms from the obstruction nearly killed her last week(we thought it was the cancer). We'd had enough and I found a Dr in Dallas and moved her up here. She is now in Baylor after collapsing Friday night and becoming increasingly weak. They admitted her Friday and have kept her on IV fluids and potassium since.
My Mother is going to have a major bowel resection surgery this week. I do not know how long she will be in the hospital, but with her current weakened state and the chemo still in her body this will be a very hard surgery to recover from. She was very near death from medical mismanagement in Austin and we do feel hopeful and that this surgery is her best course of action at this point, but are very worried.
They will discontinue chemo until she has recovered from the surgery which could take months. She will not be strong enough to tolerate the chemo. The Dr will know more about the cancer situation when they operate.
Wow! What a rollercoaster. I have been crying bc my Mom was dying and now I'm angry bc she should have been treated and possibly well by now. I am not good with death, don't think there is anything to like about death. I have been immersed in what I thought was a death coming for the last couple months. I have lived and breathed my Mothers death and felt it! I am not sure we needed to do that. It seems this all could have been treated with a surgery(albeit a risky and horrible surgery but not death!). We are now hopeful for the first time in weeks. Every week I have watched my Mother getting worse...now I am hopeful she will get better!
Thank you for any thoughts and prayers you offer. We have been staying at the hospital most days and nights.

Computer

James really likes to play games on the computer. He is very good and can even find them on his own. We are constantly amazed at his computer literacy(he is newly 5).
Today he really wants ot play although he has already played his v smile games and watched TV.
He has been bargaining:

James: Mommy can I please play a game on the computer.
Me: No, James. You've already played games.
James sits quetly for minute the says: If you let me play a game on the computer you can make me eat any vegetable. You can make me eat Broccoli. I don't like Broccoli.
Me: James you are so cute.(laughing)
James: Will you let me play a game because I'm so cute?
Me: No James, but you are very cute and funny.
James:Please. I'll promise to help you clean up. Will you let play a game if I help you clean up. Ugh, I'm trying everything I can think of!~(frustrated now)

The begging did not end here. No game for James tonight but he is very creative.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Yesterday James turned 5! My sweet 5 year old requested McDonalds for his birthday meal. Try as I might, he could not be dissauded! Mmmm....nothing like McDonalds for a special meal. WE will have his party in two weeks...bowling.

Today is Thanksgiving. We are home alone as a family minus 1. Michael flew to Alabama to meet his girlfrineds family. It's sad he isn't here because I really miss him lately...he is busy being 21 and making his way through life. He was excited about meeting her family and they will go to the college game today.
Andrew is working until 7 so we are having a late Thanksgiving dinner. I made eggs benedict for brunch(think this might be a fun new family tradition?) and will start cooking at 2.
We had planned to go to my Dad's, then my Mom's. Mom is really ill. She has been hospitalized twice this month. She has a blockage caused by a recurrance of ovarian cancer. She started chemo last week. I went down alone and planned to take everyone down for the holiday. Our plans changed when I came down with a nasty cold:( We are here now, having our own little day.

Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy the day wherever it may take you. I am thankful for those in my life that teach me, love me, guide me, challenge me and hold me dear. You are all important to me and I hold each of you dear.

That must be hard...

James and I were watching a tv show and there was a pregnant woman. On it. WE've had many discussions about living in Mommies tummy over the year and my boys are quite familiar with he fact that babies grow for many months in their Mommies before coming into the world. This must have been something on James mind for a while...

James: "Mommy, we watched a show and it said babies are dropped off by birds. Isn't that silly? Babies live in Mommies tummies, right?"

Me: "Right, James. That is silly."

James giggles.He is clearly thinking something over. James is very serious about getting all the correct info.

James: "But Mommy... How do babies get out of Mommies tummies?"

Me: Thinking quickly about how I want to handle this... "They come out of Mommies Vagina's." Hoping that he takes it at that without much more info for the time being!

James: After looking perplexed for a few seconds "That must be hard"

Me: "Yes, it is"

That was that:)

Another illness and other cute things

Gavin has a terribly illness today.
Gavin: I am very sick, I need medicine(for some reason both of my children love pills and liquids:(, James loves Flax seed oil and vitamin E)
Mommy: I don't think you're sick. What is wrong with you?
Gavin: A bunny jumped in my tummy.


Later today Gavin brought me one lady bug slipper. James had taken both pair of fuzzy slippers out to the living room last night. Surprisingly(or not) they were left in the living room.
Gavin: Mommy I found one of your ladybug slippers.(he really does have great sentance structure and has since he was under 2)
Mommy: Oh you did? Where is the other one?
Gavin: I ablieve it is lost.
(I just think it's really cute he said "ablieve":))

A couple cute conversations

We took the boys to dinner at our FAV Mexican food restraunt(Marianno's)...mmmm. On the way to dinner Gavin said: "James, How many times have I told you not to spit?" (We must say this alot because he's been saying "How many times have I told you..." alot:))
James is very logical and frequently corrects his 3 year old brother.
James said: "Gavin you have never told me that"
While at dinner Gavin said he had to go potty. I decided to save myself a trip and take them both. Chances are good that they will both go and I'll be done with that adventure. About 5 minutes after we got back to the table Gavin says: " Mommy, I have to poo."
Mommy: "WE just went"
Gavin: "I really have to POOOOP(loud enough for several tables to hear)"
Mommy: "What will happen if you don't go?"
Gavin: "I will explode"
Needless to say we made a trip to the potty. Can't have any babies exploding.

Vacation

The boys made it through VBS. They had a great time w/ Noni and at school. I went down and got them, came back, worked a few days, and we went on...
VACATION! We left Tuesday night and spent the night with my Mom in Austin.
We went to Sea World and the River Walk in San Antonio for 3 glorious days. I say glorious b/c it was not BURNING H.O.T. Hurricane Dolly blew some rain in.
The rain didn't arrive until late afternoon of day 1. WE were at Sea World waiting in line for James first water slide~when lightning struck. We'd had a couple drizzles throughout the day, but this closed up shop. We were able to feed the dolphins, ride some rides(James rode his first big boy roller coaster), play in the kids area, sea a "piggy" sea lion, and ride the rafting ride...but no water slide. We saw Shamu's big show after it cleared off.It was only about 75 in the late afternoon and remained in the high 70's until day 3.
Day 2 we explored the whole river walk. Our hotel was right on the riverwalk...so we trekked down to the major area, ate, explored and then did some shopping after being stuck under the bridge next to St. Anthony(San Antonio's namesake) during a huge downpour. We got stuck for 30 minutes, but the rest of the day was wonderful, even finished the day with a swim.
DAy 3 we had lunch on the riverwalk again and then took the River Cruise. It was fun and the kids enjoyed the boat.
We headed to DeLeon on Friday afternoon. My siblings and I were throwing a "surprise Bday party", I use the term surprise loosely. It was a great weekend and we came home late Sunday night.

Solitude

My house is kid free tonight. James and Gavin are in Austin for VBS w/ my Mom until Friday. I'll go down to Austin Thursday morning and spend the night and we'll come home Friday evening.It is soooo quiet!
This morning Gavin told me "I will miss you" when he woke up. I'll miss them, too but will enjoy the adult time!
They both helped pack their bags. They each decided to take a backpack and stuffed a couple tings in them. James put an apple in his, but decided to take it out and eat it 5 minutes later. I need to tell my Mom to take the grapes out~they might get a little yucky.
I had dinner with Michael and his girlfriend, Erica. They picked me up from work and we went to Taco Diner. They decided to take me by Andrews girlfriend's(Zoia) new place on the way home. It was a nice visit w/ all.

Michael's home

Today we mad a trip to see Michaels new apt.He is very excited and was happy to have the kids come. He even offered to watch the boys some evenings.He gave us a tour:)

James and Gavin miss him terrible. A month or so ago we were on our way to pick him up. He had been staying at a friends apt every night.
James asked: "When is Michael coming home?"

Mommy: " Well sweetie, Michael probably won't come home. He is getting his own apt."

James: "Never?" Rubbing his eyes:(

Mommy: "Does that make you sad?"

James: " Yes" Now crying.

Mommy: "It makes Mommy sad, too" Wanting to cry, too!! "But you can go visit and spend time at Michael's apt"

Michael got in the car and I told him. He was sweet and told James he could come anytime. He's making good on his promise now, but we're still sad.

WE love you, Michael. Congrats on your first real place of your own!

Hope you had a great 4th!

Happy belated indepandance day! Although, can that really be belated as the point is, we are our own country??

We had a lovely afternoon/evening. Jim has a friend w/ a lakehouse where you can truly see 3 sets of city displays, set off your own fireworks and feel the cool breeze of the lake in July! Awesome spot and very generous of the Kams to host every year. I have not been going because the babes have been so tiny, but they did well and I plan to go every year now. Maybe even make a cake next year:)

!!
In other exciting news, James taught himself to swim! He has been practicing in the tub for a while now. We went to the Addison fountains and while there decided he would not only practice putting his head under, but teach himself(rather remarkeably) to swim under water! Go James

We had a lovely day there. Even took the dog:)

Happy Birthday Michael!

Today is Michaels birthday. We went to dinner last night with he and his girlfriend and today he is having a BBQ with Andrew and friends(we didn't get an invite;)).
I cannot believe how time flies. He was just a tiny baby what seems like days ago. He has moved out and on to his own life now.
We love you sweet boy!
Then~




and now.

Rhyming

Today James asked me if Broccoli and Blocks rhyme(a valiant effort I thought).
Mommy: They do sound alike but rhyming words are like blocks and clocks or mice and ice or twice and ice...

James:Mommy stop, you're freaking me out!

Mommy was then rolling on floor laughing her a** off!!!!

James is the one who, at two years, told me he'd just can't handle any more of these Mommy shows while I was watching food network one night. What is to come????

Bamo's

Two nights ago I was particularly frustrated with Gavin. Gavin is very busy and must occupy himself with things other than toys at all times. Sometimes this is quite nervewracking.

Gavin walked up to Jim while I was discussing my frustrations and handed him a drawing.

Daddy: "What a nice horse you drew"

Gavin: "it's a Bamo"

Daddy: "A Bama??"

Gavin "No Daddy, I already told you. It's a Bamo"

Daddy: "What is a Bamo?'

Gavin: "Bamo's live on Earf"

Daddy: "Oh on Earth"

Gavin: No Daddy, EARF"

Mommy giggles and feels guilty for forgeting this is a 2(almost 3) year old.

An amazing message

I've been going through some things that are pretty tough. Today I got a private message on my Mom's board from a woman I have not met personally. It was profound and I wanted to share a small bit. Sometimes the kindness of strangers is amazing!

"You just have to decide where you want to be left standing when all is said and done, and work towards that."

There were so many more sentances that were amazing in her message, but this one is truely the big picture.

Thanks, Shannon!

This is it in a nutshell

I really need a red umbrella!

Ramen Noodles will get you through

I ordered some yummy CPK goat cheese and pepper pizza. Jim had his usal BLT pizza and the tiny boys were sharing mine. Mine had eggplants and James did not want to try them. He says he doesn't like them.

Me: What will you do if you go to another country and have to try new foods

James: I will take Ramen Noodles

Apparently Michael and Andrew have shared a few too many. I personally don't consider Ramen Noodles a food item, but teens and toddlers love them:)

Where did the day go and Frog

Today we left the house at 9:30 for soccer clsee(Gavin spend much of it darting and running from his unprepared coach). WE ran a couple errands and got a haircut for James. On the way home from said errands, I looked at the time... 3:44! Where does the time go? I can tell you that grocery shopping with two children in tow will easily eat up 2 hours!
Tonight Gavin came to me and said "Mommy, I'm very sick" I said "Really Gavin, what is your illness" He looked at me questioningly and said "Froggy"(somewhat unsure look on his face) then, "my illness is frog".I promptly gave him his amoxocillin. We can't have any frogs!

Will you unbuckle me

James knows how to buckle and unbuckle his carseat now. Gavin believes him to be the boy who hung the moon~sweet brothers:)
Yesterday we went to Joes crab shack, not because we like Joe's, but they have the best lure for parents. They have a full outdoor playscape, complete with messy sand, connected to the patio. Hello Margarita's and no babysitter fee's.
When we arrived home Gavin asked James "Will you unbuckle me". I was listening to them as I talked to my Mom on the phone and heard James say "Okay, Gavin. This one time, but never again." Daddy says this to James about almost everything, he's teasing James. I think James may have been serious~LOL!

Time out

(Gavin pouring water on living room floor)

Daddy: Gavin why are you doing that?

(Gavin does not reply)

Daddy: Gavin you are going to sit in time out. You can get out when you tell me why you are in time out.

(this is not the method Daddy and I have discussed, ie: tell them why they are going to TO, give them a time limit, ask them to tell you why they went to time out and apologize, let them out...but that's not the point of this post:))

Gavin sits...er climbs around... in the chair for a couple seconds then Daddy asks: Gavin why are you in time out?

Gavin:I'm in time out because Daddy put me in time out.

(Mommy tries to contain laughter)

Hives!!

Today Gavin is covered in Hives. They are red and swollen and look terribly uncomfortable. James had them once when he was around 2 and we were told they are not dangerous unless there is shortness of breath, etc. and to dose w/ benedryl and cortisone cream round the clock. I think some ants bit Gavin yesterday and this morning he woke up vomitting and covered in hives. Not sure the vomitting increases the concern. I'm going to call my Pedi just to check in. Poor honey seem s in good form despite the hives:(

A brag on me

For one minute I am going to indulge my ego. I have been waking up at 4:40am 3 times a week for nearly a month. This is in effort to return to my body I got back by breastfeeding round the clock. Once I stopped offering my breast every 15 minutes the ice cream and cookies started settling in my tummy and bum:( I am now a very lumpy size 8 and I was so happy to be a very svelte size 6 a year ago. I must return to non lumpy body IMMEDIATELY, so I conned some other Mommies into joining me in the 5:30am bootcamp class that Jay Johnson(trainer to the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders) offers. I was really starting to see some headway until I missed two classes after getting this terrible coughing virus. This is the final week. Please help me find the strength to got to the last class(it took some major mental hurdles today) and the courage to sign up again!!!

More Little Lessons

In the quiet of my mind I know that screaming at a cherub faced almost 3 year old is NOT healthy. Even when he has sharpied the back of your passenger seat in your far overpriced, gas guzzling, SUV. Screaming at your 3 year old will make you feel guilty in just a few minutes and in no way matches your parenting philosophies. Why, you ask, did I do it? Because I need some major professional help...(that's my husbands line)...it's most likely from exhaustion because I am constantly chasing my sweet almost 3 year old and darling 4.5 year old and I coughed all night long for the 3rd night in a row.
I did feel guily 5 seconds after screaming:(
Some thoughts are deep...like cherish every minute because they'll be moving out sooner than you can imagine.
Some thoughts are not deep...like why can't you just color on paper?